Adam Richman, of the Travel Channel’s “Man vs. Food” is… well, not quite a hero, but someone I admire a great deal. He’s not scientific like Alton Brown, but he’s passionate about food and immensely knowledgable and likable. On his show, he goes around the country tackling various eating challenges. You know, like “If you can eat this 72 oz. steak in one hour, you get it for free,” or “If you can eat these insanely spicy hot wings, you get a novelty t-shirt and your name on our ‘Wall of Flame’.”

Unfortunately, these two food personalities I love so much seem to have gotten into something of a feud.

Alton Brown proclaimed that he is disgusted by the entire concept of “Man vs. Food.” In an interview on Zap2it he proclaimed, “That show is about gluttony, and gluttony is wrong. It’s wasteful. Think about people that are starving to death and think about that show. I think it’s an embarrassment.”

Adam Richman responded like a hurt child. I don’t mean any disrespect in that. Adam’s almost exactly my age, so like me, he grew up watching “Good Eats” for the last decade or so. If he idolized Brown anything like I did, the criticism must have felt like sucker punch square in the gut. He replied, “Alton Brown: MvF is about indulgence – NOT gluttony – & has brought loads of biz to Mom-n-Pop places. You were my hero, sir. No more.” And then, “My previous Tweet is not to start some foolish Twitter feud. Merely my hurt response to insults hurled my way from the man who inspired me.”

Truth is, guys, you’re both right and wrong.

Mr. Brown, I think you’re awfully quick to disrespect one of the few truly original shows in the genre. Gluttony (or self-abuse by way of capsaicin) aside, he really does shower some well-deserved national attention on some really awesome Mom & Pop places — the very same kinds of places you highlighted in “Feasting on Asphalt.” If having to submit himself to these challenges gets him a much bigger spotlight to shine than other shows with a more traditional format, so be it.

I also really resent the entire, “People are starving” bit. That argument can be extended to a whole lot of things. How can “Iron Chef America” go through twenty pounds of Kobe Beef in an hour when people are starving? How can “Good Eats” discuss something as frivolous as how the structural proteins in egg whites hold up an angel food cake when people are starving? How dare we dedicate an entire television network (or two!) to food when PEOPLE – ARE – STARVING!?

You also need to remember that you’re pretty much a frickin’ superhero to foodies my age. Seriously, if Alton Brown came out and condemned something that I was doing, it’d be like getting slapped in the face by Superman.

Mr. Richman, I love you and your show, but seriously. It’s totally about gluttony (and self-abuse by way of capsaicin). There was recently an news item on how punishment gluttons are flooding Brick Lane Curry House, trying to do the Phaal challenge and turning the place into a frat house every time that episode is aired. You’re not only encouraging gluttony (and self-abuse, etc.), but each place you visit experiences a wave of jerkery in your wake from foodies who are, shall we say, not quite as thoughtful or articulate as you.

Can’t we all get along? Surely a couple of smart, passionate foodies can find plenty to like about one another. Let’s see if we can find common ground. I’ll start. We all love Andrew Zimmern. (Who, by the way, is following me on Twitter now. Which is not such a big deal as he follows about 12,000 people, but cool nonetheless.)

Source: New York Daily News

It is only after I dismissed these gatherings as unnecessary that I realized how achingly necessary they are. I miss my family and our holiday traditions. I miss getting together for big celebrations.

So this year I promised myself that I’d do some kind of celebration and establish traditions for my new family. It was a promise that Paula agreed to enthusiastically. I just didn’t anticipate quite how enthusiastic she’d be…

So today we come to Passover, the first major Jewish holiday (that this barely religious reformed Jew celebrates) after Chanukah. Paula, who has long since surpassed all qualifications to be called an honorary tribe-member, went all out. She made home made chicken soup with matzoh balls. She made fresh charoset. We had gefilte fish and horseradish. She made a brisket to die for. She even roasted a shank bone. I mean, it was a real shank bone! I’d never actually seen one in my life!

Seriously, my shiksa wife puts on a better seder than some people who go by the name of “Bubbe.”

Mom, who was still in Charlottesville (and told an amusing story about trying to find maztoh there), joined us by video conference. Her fiancée isn’t Jewish and was out of town for work, leaving her all alone. Since as I just mentioned, I am acutely aware of how hollow a video conference of a traditional celebration is, I wish she was there with us. But just having her present added a link to my family’s seders past. Next year, in Astoria!

The phrase, “The nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me” kind of gets thrown around a bit. But after dinner and after I finished doing the dishes, I looked at Paula lovingly and choked back a tear. This really was the nicest, most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me.

Until now…

I am hereby announcing my intent to food-marry.  I will be married to the Twice Cooked Pork Belly with Leeks lunch special at Szechuan Gourmet, on 39th St.  The ceremony will take place some time next week, at my desk at work, as I fill my belly once again with its wonderful spicy, fatty, porkiness.  We have registered (appropriately enough) at Szechuan Gourmet and unsurprisingly, we have only registered for more plates of Twice Cooked Pork Belly with Leeks.  Recursvie?  Yes.  But delicious.